The Impossible Dream

I use the word “dream” loosely here. I’m not talking about what happens while we’re sleeping, but about the “dream” life most of us have in our heads. Not technically a dream but more an idealized life, ambition or whatnot. I think everybody has them, though I haven’t asked everybody yet.

In my younger days, my dream was to be a very successful musician. I really wasn’t after stardom as such, but I did have “dreams” of playing with the upper echelon of rock musicians and having plenty of money to play with. I half realized that dream in that I did get to play with some pretty good musicians, but the money part remained quite elusive, and eventually I moved on to a more mundane career that paid a living wage.

Most of us have more than one dream, and I was no exception. Another of my fantasies was to live in a nice tropical country, surrounded by lovely women. That one is what I’m living now, although dreams that come true are different than dreams that remain unrealized. There are always some thorns when dealing with the bed of roses in reality instead of just theory. But all in all I did get what I wanted, simply got a few other things along with it that are less than idea.

But there are dreams, and there are dreams. My “dream” was pretty modest compared to some others I know. I didn’t expect to become a different person. What I was looking for in Costa Rica wasn’t perfection. I was certain I could find “company” of the pay per play type, and I was also reasonably sure I could find a prettier and younger girlfriend here than I could back home, if I so chose. And both those assumptions have proved to be true. But strangely, I constantly meet guys down here who have problems doing one or the other or both.

The easiest thing to do down here is find sex. The problem is, too many guys THINK that’s all they want but actually want a lot more, but are unaware of just what that “more” is.
Anna and hubby
One fellow I used to see rather often was quite fond of sex, as I presume we all are, but he also wanted a lot of attention and admiration and companionship. Putting it another way, he didn’t just want his “special purpose” stroked, he wanted his ego stroked constantly. To make matters more complicated, he also had a rather sizable cheap streak. When he first came down, he was thinking he could trade English lessons for sex, or at least a discount. Like so many before him, and after him, for that matter, he found out that the girls weren’t interested in anything that didn’t generate cash, and most of them weren’t even interested in English lessons at all. Too much work.

He finally found a slightly older (late 30s) Nica who had a couple of kids to support, but would devote herself to him and clicked with him sexually. They became a “couple” and she eventually persuaded him to move with her to Nicaragua so she could be close to her family. He liked the fact that Nicaragua was cheaper, so he went along with her plan. Last I heard from him was that he was happy but bored. Oh well!

There are a couple of other guys I know who come to mind who also want a lot of attention, but aren’t content with just one admirer. They want to be “special” to every single woman they deal with. The way they do this, typically, is through self-delusion. This ends up causing a lot of drama because the reality clashes with the “dream” rather often. And a side effect of seeking “love,” for lack of a better term, from hooker after hooker, is that this particular type of dreamer is a prime target for sob stories and scams. We’ve all heard the saying “you can’t buy love.” If you’re lucky you will buy some gratitude. If you are unlucky, you’ll just be taken for a ride. If you are sufficiently delusional, your “dream” will become a “nightmare.”

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Comments

  1. Superb, Tom…IMO, the best article you’ve ever written and one reason I’ve become rather an unpopular chap, when I’m here, amoungst my few fellow Canucks and, especially, you vast majority Yanks.

    When I’m in gentle banter with a chap and I hear the word “girlfriend” thrown out I get curious and I delve deeper into the situation.

    I can honestly say that, save for one situation(and that one is a definite “maybe”), all the blokes I’ve met…*usually bald/balding, totally gray(or, almost, totally), overweight/fat/obese/morbidly obese, and different levels of financial well-being IMO, are “delusional”(your superb choice of words) in that they THINK they have “girlfriends”!

    What I’ve come to understand is that these “relationships” “boil down” to simple economics…i.e the wealthier one is the better looking(which, IMO, is subjective, I have to admit!) one can find, in reality, a “long-term prostitute”(I choke to refer to them as anything but…sorry chaps!) with fewer(or no) children, who will do a masterful job(or, perhaps, not so masterful depending on what she perceives said individual’s level of delusion is) to pretend be attracted to/appreciate/enjoy being attentive to/enjoy having sex with, etc.!

    It breaks my heart to listen to, IMO, these delusional desperate idiots expound about how their “long-term prostitute”(a/k/a “a “girlfriend” or, in too many cases, wife) is the “love of their life” and how lucky they are to have them!

    I smile politely and wish them well….while I thinking to myself that, if ONLY they knew the “real deal”(as you Yanks used to say some years ago), IMO, and were THAT delusional they would, probably, also be as happy as well if they were just diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer!

    When I’m asked about me I just reply I’m just a humble Canadian who is down here for a month to escape part of the Canadian winter and I know that any sexual encounters I have are financial transactions…nothing more…nothing less!

    My only hope is that I don’t nauseate the prostitutes TOO much with my appearance and/or sexual technique…and, IMO, from what I’ve witnessed, IMO, I’m not that bad on either counts.

    *Delusional long-term, sex tourist males…perhaps you should ask YOURSELF the same question?