Call Them “Unreliable”

Only those who haven’t spent much time in Costa Rica haven’t made a date with a chica who was either considerably late or didn’t show up at all. The variations of this little drama are endless. Even yours truly, a seasoned veteran, gets the treatment from time to time. Other than telepathy, which I have not encountered in myself, or anyone else for that matter, there’s no way of knowing whether that date you made with that hot stripper from the Pantera Rosa will show up until you open the door and see her standing there. Generally, after the first successful off-site encounter, chances improve that she will show up, though whether it will be on time or even close to it is another question.

Even before the first time I set foot on Costa Rican soil (a tile floor, to be precise) I had heard the term ‘Tico time.’ I had also heard it said that Ticos were inclined to tell you whatever you wanted to hear, that it was considered impolite in the culture to tell somebody something they didn’t want to hear. Strange, you say? Yeah, to me it is and to most other gringos I know. But whether it’s right or wrong or fish or fowl, there it is.

It isn’t like this doesn’t happen up North. My very first ‘date’ I had in high school turned out to be a non-date, as the girl seemed to think I was joking or didn’t think I was going to show up or who knows what, but to save face I ended up going bowling with her brother, whom I knew. I’ll never know what was going on in her head and was too embarrassed to confront her about it.

But let’s get back to Puravidaland. There is a cultural acceptance of flakiness that just doesn’t exist where I came from. Flakiness was plentiful, but acceptance of it wasn’t nearly as widespread as it is here. In a way, I have to forgive a certain amount of unreliability due to the obstacles a chica generally faces trying to keep a date, even assuming she wants to keep it and wants to be on time.

Did the babysitter show up on time? Was your chica babysitting and the mother not show up on time? Was the bus late? Was there an accident somewhere on the bus route, stalling traffic? Was her cell phone out of prepaid minutes? None of these reasons makes her lateness or no-show any more pleasant, but they are facts of life to Costa Ricans.

Unless your chica has her own car, a built in babysitter and the good luck not to run into a traffic jam, it’s no sure thing that even the most responsible girl in the world can always be on time, or even show up in some cases. But it goes beyond that. In order to remain sane in this country, you have to accept “Costa Rican Efficiency” is an oxymoron. I have been known to (ironically) lament the fact that Costa Rica was settled by Spaniards and not Germans. The term ‘pura vida’ means pure life, but it’s often used to mean ‘oh well… what you gonna do?’ Don’t worry, be happy! Embrace incompetence and irresponsibility! The locals have.

I recently made the acquaintance of two young ladies who were considering part time work providing ‘company’ to interested gringos. I was interested. I tell the first part of the story in “Hooking Lessons.” What happened subsequently is worth mentioning regarding this subject. I didn’t go into a lot of detail in the article, but the prettier of the two girls sort of mailed in her performance. She didn’t do a whole lot though I enjoyed looking at her and touching her and her somewhat restrained attentions. The other one was quite responsive, and very much into the session, so I went with the flow and didn’t make an issue of the pretty one’s so-so performance.

Although the ‘other one’ was very responsive, I wanted to give the pretty one a try by herself, see if she would be any good when it was just the 2 of us. Well, I called her and arranged a date. I went so far as to tell her that if she couldn’t make it or was going to be late for some reason, to please call me. Yes, she said, of course.

Need I say that she didn’t show and didn’t call? I left her a message saying that I’m sorry she didn’t show but if she wanted to call me to explain, to go ahead. Well she did, saying something happened and she had to go to Puntarenas and would have called but didn’t have my phone # with her. Okay. Did she still want to get together? Yes, she said. We made another date for a few days later. When that time came, I called to confirm and she said she was still out of town and would be back in 2 more days. Okay. Two days later I call to confirm, and she says yeah, she’ll be in San Jose at 7pm. I call at 7:15 and she says she’s almost ready to leave Puntarenas. Okay. I call her at 9 and she says she’s about 20 minutes from downtown and she’ll call me when she gets to the bus station. I call her a half hour later and a message says her phone is off. I make a couple of more calls spaced 10 or 15 minutes apart but same result. I give up and needless to say she never showed.

Do I have more stories like that? Are there cucarachas in San Jose? Was I irritated? You know it. Do I expect it to happen again with some other girl? Absolutely. Do I still have more ‘company’ than I can handle? Yep. Does this make me want to move back to the US and A? Shirley, you MUST be joking.

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  1. david strecker says:

    Your not alone Tom, I live in Key West where they say if you show an hour late "YOUR EARLY" – We all know these girls aren't business geniuess, it never siezed to amaze me how these starving broke pathic young girls don't show up while you sit there with a fist full money in one hand and you know what in the other – one thing I learned in Costa Rica is 50 percent of what they tell you is a lie and the other 50 percent just isn't true. One of the many reasons I choose now to go to Sosua is you pay the house and tell them what time you would like the girl to be knocking on your door, you can take her with you or as I do you can go in have a good time pay the club that night and for the price of a one hour seccion she will stop by your place at 1am and stay till 10:30 the next morning, whice works great for a morning guy, at least you know she will be there in the morning and on time, because she's already there. Something to think about.

  2. to get in the mind of young girl, you have to walk backwards….the more you walk…the more you have to walk…he he he !!! i call it youthful, logic….when we hang with young people…thats just the way it is….you and dave are both correct, in many ways…i need to branch out and , look for new, places..i go to the dell so much…the staff knows my name when i walk in the door….it is allways hit and miss with the talant…but the sex for me has been..good or great…or so so…rarely…i live in key west as dave ….and yes, i monger, here …the sex , in 6 years i have lived here , is so, best…i have had many, 150.00 a nite bar groves, here..and wake up, with , fat tatooed farm cow. on vacation, have you every wake up, with big mama, snoring? he he he !!!!!

  3. I guess everyone has had this expeience, I have learned to do have low expectations and when things happen it is a pleasant suprize. I will be in San Jose in two weeks and I get to live the expeiences all of you have already had. The only thing I allow my self to get frustrated over is my own stupidity, that unfortunately still occurs at the tender age of 59.

  4. I think it is definately somewhat of a Latina thing. However, Ticas compared to Brasileras are downright punctual.

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