Trapped! in the USA

This lady lives in the USA

I recently had a conversation with a guy who really wants a nice Latina girlfriend, but unlike me, would not be able to live in a foreign country. His primary reason is his family, specifically his children and grand children, whom he is very close to and wants to maintain that relationship. My own case is much different, as I have no children or siblings even. Talking with him I realized that there are probably a lot of guys in similar situations and perhaps it was worth talking about what someone in such a situation might do. Whether it is business or work or family, some guys don’t have the option of moving to a foreign country. So what can they do?

The first option is the tourist option. This doesn’t mean you’ll be visiting museums, though it is not TOTALLY forbidden. It simply means that the man in question satisfies his desire for female company (as best he can) by making trips to his favorite destination(s). I know some guys who make very frequent trips to Costa Rica and/or the Dominican Republic for as short a time as a weekend. Guys in Florida seem to employ this option quite a bit since the flights is so short. These guys tend to be more ‘love em and leave em’ types, though a few have some ‘favoritas’ they like to see over an extended period of time.

This approach works pretty well for guys that 1) can afford it 2) can get the time off and 3) aren’t looking for a ‘relationship.’ That approach does NOT work for those who don’t fit that description. The recent increase in fuel prices has resulted in increased airline fares and decreased the frequency of visits for those with limited disposable income. And truth be told, it’s usually not quite enough to REALLY satisfy the urge, it’s simply a better option that shopping locally (though that is changing).

This lady lives in the USA

To go back to the guy I was talking to with the family ties, his finances are limited and what he seems to want is a girlfriend more than a bunch of encounters. His original thought was to somehow come to Costa Rica (or Colombia, or Peru) and meet somebody and take her back with him. I have covered the pitfalls of falling in love many times and won’t bother rehashing that here. Even assuming it’s a good idea, there are roadblocks. First and foremost is the US Visa roadblock. I have a well-off friend who has an apartment and girlfriend in San Jose, who tried to get his girlfriend a tourist visa. This girlfriend owns 2 houses and has 3 children (one disabled that she has to care for). The embassy spent 5 minutes with her and decided that she was more tied to her boyfriend than Costa Rica, and denied the visa. Bottom line is that the USA doesn’t want more brown people unless they bring a giant suitcase full of cash. So are there any options left?

The fiancee visa is one option, as it is easier to get, less likely to be denied. But in most cases you will have need to have met the lady in person, which means a trip to wherever she lives. This doesn’t even cover how you are supposed to meet the love of your life in the first place.

One option is the ‘mail order bride’ approach. There are more sites than I can shake a stick at, some whose focus is Latinas. (I have some experience with this, which I will recount in an upcoming post.) For a guy who doesn’t speak Spanish it can be pretty cumbersome. You can use one of the online translation engines such as Google, but the likelihood of miscommunication is high and even if you communicate well at long distance there are things that may present themselves in person that no amount of emails or phone calls can reveal. But if you’re looking for Señiorita Correcto, you are probably better off exchanging some emails and photos and phone calls rather than just getting off the plane and proposing to every pretty woman you see.

This lady lives in the USA

One last idea is to find a Latina already living in the USA. Strange as it may seem, they do exist. My guess is that they either had experience with a dating site before they came, or a friend did. If you’d like to see some Latinas living in the USA, click here and scroll down to the bottom right side of the page and click on Latin Ladies in the USA. Who knows, this might be the ticket if you love Latinas and are trapped in the USA.

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  1. ninjanegro says:

    how about just marrying them in their country whether it be costa rica, dominican republic, colombia, peru, brazil etc

  2. Marrying them in their home country takes longer if your goal is to bring them to the United States. Under the fiance visa program the prospective spouse comes to the United States with just a visa, and can stay while their application for residency (Green Card) is processed. If you do it the other way, and get married in the foreign country, then they have to wait until residency is granted before coming to the United States.

    • negroninja says:

      How much longer does it take an extra 6-12 months? i'm curious because my girlfriend insists that i marry her in her country-colombia

      • thomasobrien says:

        I have a friend who waited almost 2 years to get the visa after marrying her fiancee in his home country (Sweden). You have been warned, proceed at your own risk.

    • thomasobrien says:

      Jose is 100% right. If you want to squander a year or two of your life waiting for visa approval, marry her in HER country. If you prefer NOT to waste a year or two, fiancee visa is the way to go. Still probably not a great idea, but better than getting married in Paraguay (or wherever).

  3. The web site you mention in your article is one of the most notorious rip-offs in the world. Anastasia. They are based in Bangor Maine and specialize in ripping off men who want to find Russian and Ukrainian women. They've simply expanded their scams to Latin America. Simple GOOGLE search will tell it all.

  4. IMO, the last idea of looking for a Latina in the US is on the same level as looking for ANYONE female in the US as, once a Latina immigrates, it doesn't take long for her to adopt the same values as too many of the "native" girls/women already have(i.e. looks, finances and age are the only thing that matters or, as stated another way, why do you think that only 10% of the eligible males qualify for what 90% of eligible US females are looking for?).

    Also, you're taking the risk that she was divorced/dumped by her American citizen husband/boyfriend and may (1) just biding her time to earn enough money to return to her own country!

    For those contemplating bringing back a Latina to the US for a permanent relationship; just remember that, with the exceedingly large numbers of Latino people in the US(and growing at an astronomical rate) in most locations, if things "don't go right" for you and your partner/wife, for what ever reason, she has the option of escaping from you and "blending back into the woodwork"!

    IMO, the "oft repeated" threat of "shipping her a__ back to her native country" to keep her with you doesn't "hold much water" anymore!

    IMO, to better the odds and also to have a "replacement" option, should your relationship "fall apart"(and, if at all feasible) move permanently a Latin American country and bring your partner in to live with you!

  5. He He Just be sure you Hombres have you life insurance paid up so your loving stateside family's can go get new cars etc…. when you kick the bucket pumping away in the heart of gringo gulch and Sousa. My favorite expression from my sweet cubana is Me like me like me like. boy oh boy oh boy when do we get it! Never?

  6. One thing you have to consider in this culture is you don't marry a woman, you marry a family. Unless you can keep her from getting homesick or bringing half her family to the sates, you better just let the idea go

  7. ninjanegro says:

    good point. however some chances have to be taken. learning is living. vice versa.

  8. thomasobrien says:

    As those who have read my articles know, I STRONGLY advise living in the same country as the woman you pursue, or the women you intend to pursue. I don't really endorse the whole 'mail order bride' concept, but I wrote this for those who have no other option.

    I have an upcoming article that is a true story of mail order romance, MINE!!! True confessions time! Stay tuned.

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