Girlfriend Quest, Part 1 of ?

Welcome back my friends to the topic that never ends, I’m so glad you could attend… step inside, step inside (apologies to Emerson, Lake and Palmer).

Yes guys, we’re going to talk about girlfriends again. With as much as I’ve already said about it, you may wonder if there is any more to say. Well, as long as these fingers are fit to type, there is!

As I write this, it is the day after Saint Valentine’s Day. I got a call yesterday from an ex-gf to wish me a happy Val-day and ask for a ‘loan.’ Ah, pura vida! But rather than go into that whole mess, I’ll just say that the longer I live down here the less I am inclined to want a ‘steady’ girlfriend. HOWEVER… this is just me. As Gary Coleman used to remind us: Different Strokes (for different folks). I could go off on a long rant about why I think having a girlfriend is a bad idea in Costa Rica, but I know for an absolute fact it would fall on deaf ears among those who WANT to have a girlfriend. So instead of trying to de-program the faithful, I will try to help them. I’m such a nice guy.

The GFU (girlfriend urge) isn’t unreasonable at all back in my former hometown. If you wanted any kind of sex life at all, you played the game. I was fortunate to be in my ‘prime’ in the 1970s after ‘the pill’ and before ‘AIDS,’ when casual sex wasn’t all that hard to come by (for a guy in his 20s at least). But times have changed and I have grown gray and portly. My last spell in the good old US of A was a lonely one. The women who would consider seeing me wanted somebody to grow old with. Hell, I haven’t grown up! I’m SURE as hell not ready to grow old with somebody who reminds me of my grandmother!

So over-40 guys who come to Costa Rica have been conditioned to think they need a girlfriend, without really asking themselves why. Guys like me eventually ask why and when they can’t come up with a reason, they happily settle into a life of affordable promiscuity. Ah, but strange as it may seem, everybody is NOT like me. Go figure. There are guys who truly seem to want an actual steady girlfriend, and their reasons are quite valid, for them at least.

Let’s take the case of Mr. L, a retired professional from the Midwest. He married young, worked hard, made lots of money and eventually divorced after 30 years with the same woman. He had numerous affairs over the years but only divorced when he got busted. His ‘thing’ is that he simply hates being alone. He also likes sex. So… if you don’t like being alone and want sex, you can combine the two and have somebody around all the time who puts out. And that’s what he has.

Another guy I know simply likes sex in the morning, every morning. To get that he set out to have a girl move in with him, which he accomplished for a while at least, until things went sour. And he’d do the same thing again.

Then there is the ‘quality of experience’ issue. This is one I can get behind. There is a difference between someone who is with you for money and someone who is with you because they want to be. Now it’s true that you can find someone who wants to be with you and just happens to need money too, but speaking for myself, there’s always that nagging doubt that I am primarily her employer. Some of us don’t feel the need to be loved, or that’s what I am told. But I think most of us LIKE the feeling, as long as it doesn’t come with the wrong strings attached.

But no matter what, there will be those up in the 1st world who see all the lovely women down here and want one to call his very own. If you are one of those, how do you go about it? Aye… THAT is the question.

I’ll start with the best way, rather than my usual method of starting with the most obscure. The best way is this: 1. Be able to speak fair Spanish. 2. Come to Costa Rica (or wherever you prefer, Russia if you like, though you’ll have to learn Russian instead of Spanish. Good luck with that…) 3. Talk to every woman you can that appeals to you (and is over 18 years old).

Okay… maybe that’s not your style. Maybe you are shy. Maybe you just can’t learn Spanish. Maybe you can’t get away from wherever it is you are for any sizable amount of time… what can you do? Stay tuned, we’ll get into that and wade a little deeper into what to do if you ARE able to take approach 1.

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  1. the differance's that I see in costa rica to the american way of life(or thinking) is first sex is special and second sex is love. The latin girl look as sex as a easy way to make money that is it. I never understand why men look to marry some of the girls. Just the latin way of thinking is not the same

    • Bigwood Mike says:

      caribbean are the best after PI and Thai. POP (puerto plata is my second home after usa for now. still got family in usa to support mentally. one grand per month can make one a king or prince outside usa, so why pretend its all about usa. live life and love it.

      being patriotic is a good thing, enjoying yourself is priceless. Chicas in cr or pr or dr do need money as anywhere else in the world but we have the power to control it there. try controlling it in the us of A. its call "5/50" split in divorce. I rather a chica who take care of me in all manner, she will have no basic needs from me.

      • fort lauderdale says:

        you know it brother… been married four years now to a beautiful tica… and she has been in the us of A for three years. it is true/ly wonderful. she does her part here and pay's half of all expenses. we have two beautiful children and it couldn't be better. and yes I married her in costa rica and brought her here…pero.. everyone i have spoken with has not had as much luck as i have.and tomas is correct on most issues. if not all issues… so buenas suerte y pura vida…!!!

        • I would trust that your wife's previous occupation was not prostitute. Generally speaking that is the problem, meaning many of the Americans who come here do not know how to pick a winner.

  2. You hit the nail on the head Thomas! For most of us anyway. I haven't "grown up" and I'm not about to start now. Most of us that read your tales or even trek to Costa Rica and pay for play haven't "grown up" even though on occasion we dress up in big boy pants. Hopefully I've gotten over the GF bit but since I'm still a visitor, so probably not. I do favor the non-working girls but I'm still a patron. It;s just too easy to pay. Keep up the good work!

  3. Ma Ma always said life is like a box of chocolates. Especially on Valentines day In Costa Rica, well ,or so I found once again. Sweet reality.

  4. Bigwood mike says:

    Howdy Gents, just call me cocomon. Enjoy enjoy enjoy, thats the way of their world. it looks sad but is reality. here is a secret….. we cant change their system, it will be there even when we are gone.

    i am an 20 year navy man, and a lover of traveling. i enjoy both upscale and downscale type women. naked women are just priceless. I never been married, lived in japan for 20 years the philippines for 2, and had the pleasure of doing… i mean doing (women) in asian down to aussie across to africa to lower europe or most countries of the world. GF's no…. good friends yes.

    there is a difference. as for women outside of us of A, they would wash your socks or scrub your feet anywhere anytime and enjoy your company without a fuss. try having your feet washed in a lounge or bar in the us of A……

  5. Have added Affordable promiscuity to my lexicon.