Spanish for Lovers (of Chicas)

There is no question about it, you CAN find a girlfriend (for some portion of an hour) in Costa Rica without speaking Spanish. You can also overpay, get lost, and a number of other things all without knowing a word of the local lingo. Still, most experts agree, and you will run into more experts per square meter in Costa Rica than you ever imagined existed, knowing Spanish ENHANCES the experience.

Way back when I was in high school I had to choose a foreign language and I was inclined to take German, but my mother talked me into French… but deep down I KNEW Spanish would be the USEFUL choice, but I there were a lot of Chicano kids in my town, and I felt like I would be at a disadvantage. Silly me. Here are Cheech and Chong laying out the truth… (check it out at 32 seconds in).

Decades later I decided to mix education and vacation and took a 3 week intensive Spanish course in Mazatlan, Mexico. A couple of years later I decided to take Spanish 2 because I had visited Costa Rica decided it might be a good place to live for me. One semester later I moved to San Jose and six years later here I am. IF I had continued my studying seriously after my Spanish 2 class, I would be a lot better than I am, but I got to the point where I could talk to chicas comfortably, and my main goal was accomplished.

So, in the spirit of sharing what I have absorbed over the years, I direct you to the first video. It isn’t intended to bring anybody up to fluency ‘without boring drills and memorization’ (unlike… um, is it Rosetta Stone?) There are more videos to come, but one must start somewhere, verdad? Whether you want to negotiate with a working girl or find that Latin American princess to make your very own, knowing some Spanish can’t hurt, can it? So dig in!

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  1. And if you don't like her, say 'vete tu malparida'…. or something along the same lines. As a bonus, she will be really pissed off and you will never see her again. 🙂

  2. Rocketman says:

    Thomas, you might want to spell check the panel where she says her name is Maria. It looks a lot like Gracias. Not as good as learning from a Tica but this is a fun way to learn a little Spanish. Great series. Very entertaining with a lot of truth packed into each paragraph. Thanks for the small connection it gives me to Paradise until I arrive there again.

  3. all that spanish and thats it?
    should i even bother?

  4. thomasobrien says:

    Rocketman, thanks for pointing that out, it's been fixed.

    And Dave, there is more to come. But 'all that Spanish?' There are only 40 seconds of Spanish on that video. But if you want to cut to the chase, just say 'vamonos'' and give her $100.

  5. Don Quixote says:

    How much Spanish and how much money would it take to snag the chica above in the bathing suit? What is her name and where can I meet her? I think I am in love.

  6. I know I 'm lazy. I have Rosetta Stone with 70 languages in the program and I still speak tourista spanish. However, Google's home page has a link for language tools. It;s a translator with a spoken voice for the translation. Make a few audio files on your PC and transfer to your phone, mainly for the things you want to get for your money. It's like a cheat sheet. If you talk to enough girls, you'll quickly memorize them. Simple example. I hear guys say she agreed to sex but once in the room wouldn't allow touching, just straight intercourse. Once she knows you want her sex I say, "Uso mis manos, OK?" (I use my hands, OK?) I gesture for her hand and close it into a loose fist, thumb up. I rub my other palm over the fist opening and slide my middle two fingers down into her petite little fist and gently squeeze. "OK?" If that draws a "no", It's over. Whats actually done with those two fingers is like starting to jak her off. If you can't get access to preheat the boiler then your output of horsepower (the quality) will be low. If I get a "si", then it's on to 2, 3 & 4.

  7. If I get them all then I don't have to ask her permission to make her orgasm. That will be the cherry atop the Sundae for her. How do you know the orgasm is real? Can you fake a sneeze that is convincing? No, because a sneeze, like an orgasm, is involuntary. Or, you may suddenly feel like she had a sprinkler system installed down there. Remeber guys, the more women that break into a big fat smile when you enter the room, the richer your life will be. Get off and thats cool, but get her off and you have a front row seat to one of nature's brilliant spectacles. Enjoy!

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