Inside the Working Girl Mind 3b.1 – Why they get jealous

There was a comment on the last installment that I felt was worth looking at more closely…

can you tell me why(or ask the girls) they get jelous to see good customers with other girls..last time I was at the rey, I had a nica that I had the night before that looked at me all night, went to key largo wth other girl, only to have same girl follow us there and look at me??loco girl? last thing you want is a crazy tica..I know good customers are hard to find but please!!!!! I know some girls really hate each other at the del rey and there is competition for the best customers every night..

There several things at play here. The most obvious is money. They would much rather you spend your money on THEM, not some other girl. There is also ego and pride. It’s not surprising a that a working girl is protective of her ego. After all, her livelihood depends on her attractiveness and ability to get somebody to choose HER and not that OTHER tramp.

Jealousy and envy in themselves are something I believe are hard wired into most people to some degree. Ever watch kids playing? There will be a toy that nobody is paying attention to and one kid will pick it up. All of a sudden, ALL the kids seem to want to play with that toy. We are a competitive species, and working girls are part of the species. When she sees you choosing another girl it hurts her pride and sometimes that shows up as anger or other childish behavior.

If *I* were in their place, I think the toughest part of the job would be the constant rejection. Some girls are passive and some are aloof as their way of minimizing rejection. If they guy comes to HER, then she hasn’t put her ego on the line. Some may feel that playing hard to get (AS IF) enhances their appeal. But the ones I see who really do best are those that are either genuinely outgoing and friendly, or can fake it. Some girls can handle being turned down over and over… so can some guys. The name for these people is: good salesmen.

Imagine you are in a bar or similar ‘social’ situation and the only female(s) that seem ‘available’ are not very appealing. Still, because you are bored and haven’t been laid for a while, you decide to ply your charms on one of the not-very-appealing options. Imagine this substandard woman has the gall to shut you down. Would you be able to just simply shrug and say ‘no biggie’ and not give it another thought? Or might there be just a smidgey-widgey of hostility in you? Just a smidge?

These girls are in competition with each other and they do talk among themselves. The gossip and play all those little catty games that you NEVER find among men (right). Call it status games or pecking order or whatever, it’s THERE. One of the axioms of negotiating with a chica is to NEVER do it around her friends (or enemies, even more so). Even if she’d be happy to go with you for $50, she doesn’t want her friends (and enemies) to know she didn’t get $100. It’s the same mechanism… peer pressure.

But it’s more than just ego and pride for these girls. It’s one thing to get shut down trying to get laid, it’s another when your livelihood depends on your sex appeal. Back in the dark days when I was past 50 and still living in the States, it was unpleasant to go out weekends, be ignored, and go home alone. But (thank God) I never had to depend on my looks to pay the rent, feed the kids, etc. These girls are well aware that their ability to sell their ‘company’ to guys like you and me is what puts the rice and beans on the table. When something happens that makes them doubt their ability, they don’t like it. When they see you choose somebody else after you’ve been with them they react negatively. If you watch the local soap operas, you’ll see that immature behavior is not only accepted but almost EXPECTED. All part of the fiery Latina hokum.

Bottom line is they are going to react however they react. If you feel they shouldn’t be jealous, then you should also realize YOU SHOULD NOT CARE IF THEY ARE. It was just a commercial transaction, right?

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  1. Latin America $4P says:

    I say play on their natural female comparativeness in order to get a better performance.

    Fui con la otra chica porque tu no me habia dado la pasion como ella. Seguro que tienes al amor muy ardiente pero necesitas que me muestras pasion mejor en la cama.

    Warning: The above phrase has a 50/50 percentage chance of getting you hot sex or attacked violently by a slighted chica.

  2. Thomas, I find your articles to be insightful and "right on target". Thanks for sharing! Rascal

  3. Comparing Women – San Isidro? This posting may be of practical value if true… I just got back to NY from a great month in Panama & CR. When asking about places to visit I was very surprised to hear that "San Isidro de General Ticas Are The Prettiest In All Costa Rica!" Several times men, women or couples – gringos or ticos – told me I had to go to San Isidro to see for myself. So I started asking people if they knew about this phenomenon – or myth – and to try and explain it. Three conversations with folks in San Jose, Manuel Antonio and Jaco repeated this curious 'fact'. Yes! Women are prettier in San Isidro. Digging deeper, I was told there are proportionally more women there than elsewhere, so the chances of seeing pretty ones is greater. I asked why. The story is that MANY San Isidro MEN had gone to New Jersey to find work in a certain town in NJ! And all the poor women were left behind to raise the kids – cash the moneygrams – and amuse themselves despite the man shortage. Aha – this seemed like a somewhat plausible explanation. I ran out of time before I could go to San Isidro De General. What do you know? Should I go see for myself?
    Thanks! Musecstasy

    • thomasobrien says:

      I have heard this possible fact floated about many times, but never to the point where I would vouch for its truth. I do know that there are a lot of Ticos in New Jersey, or shall we say that what Ticos there are in the USA seem to be in New Jersey more often than mere chance would cause. I have heard tell many of them work as roofers. I can't say if it's true but that's what I heard.

      I spent an afternoon and an evening in San Isidro de El General in late 2003. I did not notice a shortage of men or that the women were any more attractive than other Ticas, but just because I didn't notice it doesn't mean there's no truth to the idea. I have heard some incredible numbers floated about the supposed ratio of women to men in San Isidro. Most of the numbers sounded like wishful thinking more than anything.

      I have heard from sources I trust that there isn't all that much p4p there, and that the women tend to be rather conservative, and I don't mean they listen to Glenn Beck. It's not a very big town, 45,000 from what I can gather, small enough where a girl might think twice about being seen with a gringo. On the other hand, maybe I'm full of sh*t. If you go, I hope you'll share what you see and learn.

      • San Isidro or San Vito was originally populated by an immigrant group of European Italians, which affects the demographic of the area.

        Once upon a time a large group of the men left to take agricultural work in the United States, and during this time left behind their woman. This was a long time ago, and is no longer the case.