Fools in Love 2

Avoiding the blindness

I will start with some pretty easy ones.

You are in trouble if:

You don’t speak Spanish and she doesn’t speak English
You do not live in Costa Rica
She has no job
She is a LOT younger than you are
She likes to party

Let’s take these basic points one by one.

1. You don’t speak Spanish and she doesn’t speak English. If you are one of those romantic types who believe you don’t need words, then you don’t need to read any further. It should be obvious to anybody else that you have to be able to communicate verbally. Maybe you are the strong silent type and she’s the quiet type (or vice-versa) but you will still need to talk to get to know each other. If you don’t think getting to know each other is important, you are headed for disaster. Love does NOT conquer all.

2. You do not live in the same country (Costa Rica in this case). If you are like most people, you can get jealous and suspicious. Her in CR and you wherever else is a recipe for mistrust even if you both behave. It also makes really getting to know each other difficult. Emails and phone calls are better than nothing, but in the end just not enough to keep things going. Especially if you fall under item 1 as well.

3. She has no job. Well, if you are extremely rich and generous, this might not be a problem. Otherwise she will likely be looking to you frequently for MONEY. As her designated Gringo, this is your function just as it’s hers to ‘give it up’ to you when you’re in the mood. Of course none of this applies if she is independently wealthy. If you find one of those, see if she has a sister, okay?

4. She is a LOT younger than you. My rule of the thumb is any chica over 35 probably has no age limit to what she’ll accept if she isn’t particularly well off. In my own case, I am ‘seeing’ a girl who is around 1/3 my age (over 18 of course), but I have no illusions that she love me. And even if she did, she’s still not my idea of a good risk. You can kid yourself all you want that ‘Latin women mature early’ but how do you know? I have a friend whose 19 year old ‘baby’ turned into a 24 year old monster. You could be next.

Yum Yum!

5. She likes to party. Well, so do you, eh? No? Yes? In either case, unless you want to do a remake of ‘Days of Wine and Roses,’ I don’t recommend you fall in love with a party girl unless you love drama. These girls are nothing but trouble, even if they are ‘happy drunks’ or cheery crack-heads.

Now… suppose you have more than one of the issues above. It’s not at all uncommon. I see guys who are trying to carry on long distance relationships with girls who don’t have jobs, don’t speak English, is 35 years younger and is very fond of both alcohol and powdered substances. Any one of these is a red flag, mix and match as you like but the bottom line is, you’re in for a VERY BUMPY RIDE!

[to be continued]

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  1. Well, it doesn't really matter. I'm here long enough to know that anyone likes to believe anything as long as they're in love. After the first 5 months you start realizing that it's all about the money and you want your freedom back.
    Then it all starts again.
    Again, it doesn't matter. It will cost you money and an illusion but hey, you were happy right?
    The hard part is to stop it and to put an end to it. That's drama and it probably hurts. But there are more where she came from.
    The only warning I cannot repeat enough. Don't make her pregnant!!!
    If you stop using rubbers after a while because she says it's fine, make sure she's taking her precautions. If she's pregnant, you have (except for CR nationality) a lot of problems. The girl will change into someone you never thought she could be. She will be in total control. That's their final goal.
    If the baby is born, you can't leave the country before you pay x years of child support. The negotiations for child support can take years so in the meantime, the judge will give it a number. And since you're not a Tico, it will be $1000+ a month.
    Whatever you do, be careful with that.
    In the meantime, enjoy your GFE's. It's fun. As long as you understand what's going on.

  2. But, I LOVE HER MAN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and she will CHANGE FOR ME !!!!!!

  3. Very good advice which applies all over the world.