The ‘It Will Be Cheaper’ Girlfriend Trap

It’s a worn out cliché here, but there is plenty of truth to it: The most expensive sex I ever had was free. If you think you are going to save money by having a girlfriend, boy are you dreaming! Most guys don’t realize what they are signing up for when they get a girlfriend down here. Even if your girlfriend has an actual tax-paying job, which isn’t very common, she will still think you are rich. Compared to her, you ARE. She’ll see your lifestyle as affluent even if you live pretty modestly.

If you won’t help her out when she’s in need (so she says, at least), you are going to have plenty of friction. And her ‘needs’ aren’t just HER needs… it includes her entire family. If grandma needs new dentures or sister Maria needs her roof repaired, you will be the first person they turn to. You can say no, but don’t expect your girlfriend to like it. She will either think you are cheap, heartless, or don’t really love her.

Now, if you really want to save money and still want a Tica for a significant other, my advice is to find the oldest and/or richest one you can find. Oh… I left out homely. You can find nice, financially secure women in Costa Rica who will be happy to have you, but they won’t be half your age (or less) and Miss Costa Rica contestants.

I suppose there may be a few exceptions. If you have INCREDIBLE charm, perhaps you can find a girl in this country who is young, pretty and doesn’t need you to help her financially. Stranger things have happened. There’s a woman somewhere who won the lottery 3 times. Your chances are probably better than hers were, so if you’re fond of dreaming, dream on.

But for those who like to stay a little in touch with reality, it helps to understand the cultural and economic differences between the USA (or Canada) and Costa Rica (or the rest of Latin America). Politicians in the USA may love to crow about how much they believe in ‘the family,’ but family bonds in the USA are almost never as strong as those in Latin America.

For example, a friend of mine told a story. His father told him that when he graduated from High School, he could go on to college or his graduation present would be a set of luggage to pack his clothes and get the hell out. And he got along GREAT with his father. Economics in the USA (at least how it used to be) meant that it was quite possible for an 18 year old to find a job and some roommates and survive on his own. In Latin America it’s extremely uncommon to find young singles living apart from the family. Often enough, they get married and STILL live with one of their mamas. I know grown men and women here who have never had a BED to themselves, let alone a bedroom.

The upside of this is that even if you are down on your luck, some relative or other will find space for you to sleep and some rice and beans to eat. The downside is for those who have a little luck in life, and are expected to share with those who have no job, or are sick, or whatnot. For sure there are cases where brother Juan is outcast from the family for some reason, but the level of tolerance of unemployment, for example, is far beyond what you’d find in the average North American home.

Bottom line is that YOU are the good luck for some chica. And she is expected to share YOU (not your body, but your money) with the rest of the family. As I said earlier, you can refuse, but it will be a source of conflict at minimum, and at the extreme she may decide she prefers her family to you. Unless of course you are INCREDIBLY CHARMING. You probably are. Never mind all I just typed. Nobody’s going to ask you for money. Relax. And have another hit off the bong.

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  1. Don Quixote says:

    So far I must be INCREDIBLY CHARMING for all I have been hit up for is the kids weekly school expense ($30) and $30 to fix her mother's dentures. I am waiting for my charm to wear thin and getting hit up for family expenses.(sisters, brothers, cousins, etc) Then again my relationship is relatively new, only a little over a year. At this stage I consider myself lucky. I am sure one day I will have to cross the bridge and once you cross the bridge how many more times will you have to cross the bridge again. When it happens it is a tightrope act of balancing when to give and when not to give.

  2. larry Olson says:

    good article. I agree If have a similar story. Question you is the girl in the bed and where was it taken Curious it might be someon I have known down in CR and would love to get re-aquanted.

    • Hi Larry,

      The girl with the thong on, her name is Jackie and she works a few nights at Key Largo, she drives an Isuzu Trooper that is normally in the parking lot of the Key Largo Bar….good luck….

  3. mike withers says:

    I agree with most of the above. I also believe it applies in some respects to having a GF in the U.S.
    By that I mean it's more expensive to do the dating routine than just hop a plane to Costa Rica, Dominican,
    Thailand, ect.

  4. Kickshotms says:

    i had a Peruvian, legal US resident, here in the US. The BS was the same. She did not have a pot to piss in, no job, collected unemployments benefits for twelve months etc. Father and mother also have nothing. Brother is a derelict and owes everybody money. Sister and her husband overfinanced their three flat and lost the building. Me, I have real estate holdings and a decent job. I got out of the aforementioned relationship and have not looked back. It must be something in the Latin water that the chicas drink

    She was good looker tho! That was another problem that I had, she turned heads where ever we went. Guys would talk to her and not me – BOO HOO

  5. thomasobrien says:

    Don Q… Yeah, you are one amazing hunk, with charm oozing out your pores. Obviously you are too good for anyone, I hope she appreciates you.

    Larry, that was taken in San Jose by a guy I know. I think she's not working at the moment, not sure if she ever will again. On the other hand, she likes to party and who knows where you might run into her.

    Kick… glad you got out of it without major damage.

    Mike, definitely not cheaper than renting.

  6. thomasobrien says:

    P. S… Don Q is a friend of mine, I'm not being sarcastic… well, not much.

  7. Look at the places you guys are finding your "girlfriends"; yes, economically speaking there are huge differences between Costa Rica (or Latin America) with the US or Canada. The "gringo" tourists go there spending more on a night worth of drinks/dinner/etc than anyone makes in a month CR, so ergo the differences, the latin girls are used to think that indeed everyone is "rich" (indeed in comparision) but note that culture wise, any man who is dating in CR "has" to pay for most everything as well. The rule applies for the gringo boyfriends too (the more you show you have the more they drool over it) get to know a girl first before you show her your wallet…. it works