DWI: Driving While (being an) Idiot

[About one year after my move, living downtown with my homeboy roommate and his girlfriend]

New York Bar

My roommate, Larry and his girlfriend Luci like to shoot pool. At the time, Dwayne was living in the apartment next door and we decided to go down to the Monkey Bar and shoot some pool, have a few beers/cocktails. Larry had just gotten his new Land Cruiser and decided to drive down. He parked it in the lot next to the New York Bar. We walked the half block up the hill, around the corner and into the Monkey Bar. They have a couple of decent pool tables and not a lot of customers using them, usually. I usually play a few games then lose interest. I am not quite as good as Dwayne or Larry, but I can win a third of the time, maybe. Luci isn’t bad, but when she wins it’s either luck or charity.

Dwayne and Larry got into their usual competitive mode, which includes a lot of bragging, joking and trash talking. Luci and I played a few games and I told her I wanted to just watch and relax, so she played the winner of the Dwayne versus Larry games.

Larry was in his usual festive mood, and ordering up shots and assorted toxic elixirs. I stay away from that stuff, especially the ‘Jaeger Bombs’ which contain a healthy (?!?) dollop of Red Bull, with all that caffeine. I have enough problems getting to sleep at night without that, so I bypassed the ‘bombs.’

After several hours of this, the bar closed and we headed down the hill to get Larry’s car. He was pretty inebriated but I didn’t feel he was too drunk to get us safely home, which was less than a mile away.

$4 Average Cost of Taxi within Downtown San Jose

If you are familiar with downtown San Jose, you know that all of the streets are one-way. Even though we were only seven blocks from home, we had to drive about thirteen blocks to get there. The extra six involved a four block detour which included a stretch along two of San Jose’s busiest avenues. At that time of night, there isn’t much traffic, and Larry was being his usual self, that is, a self-contained party. He loves to clown around, and to call him an ‘extrovert’ is somewhat of an understatement. We pulled out of the parking lot and headed downhill towards Avenida 2, Larry, continued his clowning and had rolled down his window. He was blowing his horn and shouting out the window when he turned left onto Calle 11, another well traveled street. As soon as we turned we all knew we had a problem because there right in the middle of the Calle was a sobriety checkpoint. Uh oh.

The asked Larry to get out of the car and began to question him, in Spanglish. Luci got out to help translate and try to talk the transit police out of giving him a ticket. Dwayne and I sat in the car, watching as the police, Larry and Luci walked to the far side of the street to continue the process. After five minutes or so, I decided to go over and see what was going on, see if I could do anything. There were two cops there, one male, one female.

There was also a tow truck driver parked behind the police car. I gently intruded myself into the conversation and gathered that they were going to write Larry a ticket, take him downtown for processing, and worst of all (to Larry at least) impound his brand new Land Cruiser. What a mess. He was trying to explain how he needed the car for his work as a real estate agent, but the cop wasn’t budging.

I butted in and asked the cop why they had to impound the vehicle? He said they had to make sure that Larry payed the fine, and the only sure way was to impound his car. This was obviously bull to my ears, so I asked the cop ‘Can’t we just pay the fine here, and that way you won’t have to impound the car?’

Can I Pay the Fine Now?

Yes, he answered, that would work. How much was the fine? 40,000 colones (about $80 at the time). I fished into my wallet and began to pull out the money. “Not here!” he exclaimed in a loud whisper and motioned me back into a secluded spot in the shadows. The money was exchanged (well not exchanged, given) and we were allowed to go on our merry way. I asked if it was okay for me to drive the car home. The cop said, sure, as long as I wasn’t drunk. I asked him to do the breathalizer on me, and he said sure. He held it about 3 feet away from my mouth and I blew. Hardly registered any alcohol at all! I guess 6 beers isn’t that much for a large gringo.

At any rate, I took the keys, everybody got in and headed back home. $80 poorer but at LOT wiser.

(Note: fines and punishments have gone up severely and the checkpoints gotten bigger and more frequent. A .76 alcohol level will now get you 1 to 3 years in prison along with confiscation of your vehicle. One gringo friend of mine recommends just blowing through the checkpoint then allowing one cop to stop you. Easier to bribe just one cop, is the theory)

(Another note: Love Costa Rica Style in NO WAY encourages drinking and driving, bribery, or breaking the law. We are just telling stories which might be pretty true)

Lingerie Model !acx DWP 2c Clyde Cover ACX 2  !t Clyde 1 !t Clyde Heads South !t Clyde 3 Cover !t Clyde Complete Cover !t DWP 1 Sexy African Woman in front of Hotel Door


  1. Dwayne and Larry are both idiots and $80 is cheap!
    I had a DUI in 1981 and it cost me over $2000 in fines and I lost my license for 6 months. THAT WAS IN 1981!!!
    4 years ago my daughter and myself were run off the road and almost killed by a drunk driver.
    I have no problem with drinking or having fun, but you are both idiots and the one who was NOT AS DRUNK is just as guilty for LETTING HIM DRIVE DRUNK!
    Sorry to be harsh, but drunk drivers kill!
    Actually the idiots now are the ones that TEXT while driving.
    Oh well , have fun!
    Just get a cab next time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!